Story: Battle of the Brothers

Battle of the Brothers

Scene: Arjuna and Karna meet in the middle of a clearing. All fighting between their respective armies has ceased.

ARJUNA- Karna, this fighting is senseless. Let us settle this battle ourselves; there is no need to endanger the lives of others in order for us to solve our own issues with each other.

KARNA- It shall be so.

The skilled warriors consulted with brahmins and other holy men on how they should proceed, and the following rules were established:

1.     Celestial weapons and other boons of the gods would not be allowed.

2.     Each participant would only be allowed a single weapon of their own choosing.

3.     Each participant would be outfitted with the same basic armor.

4.     The duel would be over when one participant either conceded or died. There would be no other way for the duel to conclude.

5.     Victory in this skirmish would mean victory in the war.

6.     By the powers of the gods, the terrain would change at different intervals in order to ensure that neither participant was given an advantage.

7.     Violation of these guidelines in any way would anger the gods to such an extent that the individual would be condemned to never ascend to the heavens.

With the rules in place, each of the warriors drew their weapon. Arjuna, to the surprise of no man, drew his bow to do battle with his brother. Karna drew his sword. Everyone else drew a deep breath, silently praying to anyone that would listen.

A brahmin drew a circle around Arjuna and Karna, and with the clap of Krishna’s hands, the circle became a jungle.

The warriors began.

Arjuna quickly scaled a tree, firing volley after volley. Karna, moving with an almost inhuman speed, easily avoided the deadly darts and bided his time in the brush.

The circle became a desert.

Unhindered by trees and plants, Karna came charging at Arjuna with his full force, while Arjuna fired a single, solitary arrow into Karna’s shoulder. Karna felt a searing pain, but was otherwise unperturbed. When he finally reached Arjuna, he swung desperately and was able to slice off Arjuna's legs.

The circle became an ocean.

Bleeding out from his midsection, Arjuna used his arms to recover some seaweed that he proceeded to wrap around his wound in order to stem the flow of the bleeding. As he did this, he observed that Karna was drowning. Arjuna fired more arrows, albeit imprecisely due to his precarious position, and was able to hit both of Karna’s hands.

The circle became a field.

Karna, now unable to wield his sword, ran straight at Arjuna with murderous intent. Before he was able to reach him, however, Arjuna fired a few more arrows into Karna that prevented Karna from using his arms at all (Arjuna was a master of pressure points). Karna ultimately fell at Arjuna’s side, but not before kicking his arms so hard that they broke. Fully incapacitated and close to totally decapitated, both participants merely lay there until their wounds bled out and they moved on to the next life. The war was over. No one had won, but it was over. There was no celebrating, no singing; both sides had lost a valued and strong leader. The armies solemnly took the bodies and burned them with the dignity due to a ruler. There was much to do in the coming weeks, but this, this was a time for mourning.

Arjuna and Karna Battle
Source: Flickr

Author’s Note- After reading the 67th section of the PDE version of the story (the section involving the showdown between Karna and Arjuna), I was struck with the thought that, if it was all going to come down to these two, why would we need to have the rest of the war? Couldn’t these two just battle it out themselves? I was already frustrated when I learned about the wars that have been fought in history over a spat between two rulers or people, so this story is also me being a somewhat angsty human being who doesn't understand why people force other people to fight for them. It is in that spirit that I wrote the above story. I chose the picture above because it represents a point in the battle where either could've won... with both aiming at the other, the story is still largely unwritten (until now). I included the song that I did below both because the video is heavily influenced by Indian culture and because its melancholy melody seems to be a great "post-fight" song. The "Dog Days" of the war really are over. In the original source, Arjuna is able to slay Karna in a minute of weakness, but I love writing/reading stories where the "good guy" doesn't win in the end just because they hold the title. If art imitates life, then we should be telling stories where the person with the moral high-ground only wins some of the time.

Story: In Which Ravana Marries Rama

In Which Ravana Marries Rama

After Shurpanakha told her brother, Ravana, of Sita's beauty, he was intrigued. However, he was even more enthralled with his sister's description of Sita's husband, the incomparable Rama.

"I must have him," Ravana declared.

So, Ravana launched a devious plan. He ordered Shurpanakha to disguise herself as Sita and take an enchanted mango with her. This mango, awarded to Ravana for his austerities by Brahma himself, made the person that ate it fall madly in love with the Demon King. Back in the woods, Shurpanakha lured Rama away with whispered promises of yet another celestial weapon, and when he was in a grove deep in the forest, she materialized as Sita.

"Why have you come so deep in the forest, my love? I was merely enjoying a stroll when I came upon the most beautiful mango tree... look at this mango, my dearest. Is it not the fullest and most appetizing fruit that you have ever seen?" asked Shurpanakha-as-Sita.

"My love! You have ventured into the forest without protection! Why have you abandoned the safety of our home?" asked Rama.

"All in the pursuit of sustenance for my husband. Please, Rama, won't you eat this mango?" pleaded Shurpanakha-as-Sita.

*Rama takes mango and eats it*

*Rama is instantly transported to Lanka, where he falls at the feet of his now-beloved Ravana*

*Sita awakes from a long nap back in the forest as the figure of Shurpanakha looms over her*

"Hello Sita," crooned Shurpanakha. "Ravana has taken your husband for himself... if I can't have him, then no woman, especially you, can either!"

Shurpanakha then vanished into the night air, leaving Sita to languish in sorrow.

In Lanka, Rama and Ravana were enjoying their new life together. Bound by the power of Brahma's magic, Rama was smitten with his many-faced King, and Ravana delighted in the beauty of his new lover.

"My dear Ravana, how have I gone all of these years without your gentle embrace and sweet kisses?" Rama mused. "Your abduction of me from the temptress Sita was truly the happiest day of my life."

"Rama, you shall never need to see her wretched face again. We will live together and rule over all of Brahma's creation together. You were created to destroy me, but perhaps, in failing to do so, you will only help to build my vast power," Ravana theorized.

Unfortunately for Sita and the gods themselves, the magic of Brahma's mango could not be undone. Ravana spent his life expanding his kingdom to all the reaches of India, while Rama used the celestial weapons the gods had given him in pursuit of his beloved's plan for world domination. The gods, powerless to stop Ravana as he grew more powerful, left to find another land over which they could rule. Rama had broken the rules of fate on which the power of the gods rested, and with their omniscience shaken, they had little reason to remain in the land of their creation. Ravana was happy, and because of this, so was Rama.

Rama and Laksmana Attack the Demon Ravana Ramayana – Malwa, 1640 A.D.
Source: Wikipedia

Author's Note- The original source for this story is the scene in Saraswati Nagpal's Sita wherein Sita is abducted by Ravana. I wondered what it would be like for Rama to be abducted instead; I mean, if roughly 1/10 people are somehow queer, then statistically one of Ravana's heads has to be as well. I wrote this story because I didn't like the utter lack of queer representation in the Ramayana... there are so many wonderful opportunities for characters to experience same-sex attraction, but yet, there wasn't a single queer character. Instead, the story was largely heteronormative and based on gender roles. In addition, I found a certain irony in allowing Ravana to control Rama with one of the celestial objects that Rama was so impartial to throughout the story. If you've read the rest of my blog, you know that I despise the fact that Rama is basically given whatever he wants/needs in the form of magic weapons. I chose the image that I did because I almost re-imagined it as Rama and Ravana going out for a hunting party or something similar... Ravana is brandishing his weapons and asking Rama to choose which he likes best before they go continue their conquest of India.

Story: In Which Sita Goes Off on Rama and Then Totally Takes Over

Author's Note- The original source for this story is the 73rd story in the PDE Version of the Ramayana, Sita and Rama. I was really frustrated by Rama's treatment of Sita, so I wrote a story wherein Sita kind of revolted against Rama/patriarchy and claps right back at her husband. 

Scene: Immediately following Rama telling Sita that she might be unpure

Sita: Wait, Rama, you’re kidding me, right? You really think that I languished for years in this palace, surrounded by some of the most repulsive, horrendous creatures, just to be rejected by you when I finally get back to your side because you think that I’m somehow unpure?

Rama: But my deares-

Sita: NO. DON’T EVEN GO THERE. I was TAKEN by a freaking DEMON because even though you were supposed to protect me, you DIDN’T. Is this you feeling bad for your inability to save me? You realizing that, despite your holiness and godly weapons and magical abilities, you’re not perfect?

Rama: I can only imagine what you went through, but how could Ravana have looked at you for all that time and not forced himself on you?

Sita: So the all-powerful, all-knowing Rama didn’t know of the restrictions that Brahma laid upon 

Ravana?

Rama: but..

Sita: No, seriously, I’m done with you. Hanuman?

Hanuman: Yes Sita?

Sita: Leap me back to the palace. Ravana may never have married me, but if everyone seems to think that I was his consort, then let me rule his Kingdom as if I were his second in command. I shall be Queen of the Demons. If Rama believes me to be unpure, then I shall be unpure. Oh Great Brahma, grant me the power of Ravana.

*up in Heaven*

Brahma: I mean, we did just kill Ravana after years of trying to do so, but Rama was kind of ridiculous right there, so alright Sita. In addition, I’m also going to give Rama a little curse… may he always buy shirts that shrink too much in the wash! *gleeful cackles*

*Brahma grants Sita Ravana’s powers*

Sita: Rama, come *clap* at *clap* me.

*Sita’s claps actually become thunderous. Her powers have become so great that she flattens the land around her*

*Rama and his armies retreat*

*50 years later*

*Rama sits at his war table*

Rama: These attacks from the South have been relentless these last 50 years. If only I hadn’t doubted Sita…

*Sita breaks down the walls of the room*

Sita: Hey Rama. What’s up? Long time no see! Your shirt looks a little small, and I’m here to take over the kingdom that I should have been queen of.

Rama: Isn’t that a little extreme?

Sita: Not really. After being a submissive, demure beauty for 20 or so years, I really embraced the idea of being a dominant, capturing beauty. So, with that, this palace and your dominion are now mine. I hope they survive under my unpure rule.

Rama: I guess this fight has been a long time coming.

*Rama gathers his weapons/armor/armies*

*Sita has become so powerful that she merely looks at Rama and he fades away into ash*

Sita: That was fun. Anyone else want to stand before me?

*The entire kingdom bows before Sita*

People: Long may she reign!

*Sita rules peacefully and prosperously for millennia*

Rama crowns Sita, Nine Ideal Indian Women by Sunity Devee
Source: Wikipedia

Story: Brahma Gets Bored

I’m pretty done with Rama, if we’re being honest. I was giving Vishnu the benefit of the doubt, hoping that he might be able to do something about our demon problem; ultimately, though, I realized that I just don’t like Rama. He’s got everything going for him and it’s just annoying. He’s kind, he stays bound by his own unique code of honor, and everyone seems to be giving him a celestial weapon. Why is everyone giving him a holy weapon? Flooding the non-celestial world with celestial weapons just seems like a mistake to me.

By the way, I’m Brahma, the god that keeps rewarding everyone for their severe self-restrictions and austerities. Not sure why everyone thinks that’s what I want them to do, but it’s pretty entertaining.

15th-Century Statue of  Brahma from Thailand
Source: Wikipedia

Anyways. Rama is currently in the hermitage that the women Shabari resides in. I don’t quite remember why the building is stuck in a time-loop, but I’m feeling bored. Being all-powerful and omniscient can get old pretty quickly, so let’s see how Rama can get out of this.

*Brahma instantaneously expands the scope of the time loop to include Rama, trapping him until such time as either Rama breaks free or Brahma gets bored*

Shabari was such a wonderful person to break bread with. I feel as if I have learned much from her, and I look forward to continuing my education as I move forward on this journey. Sleeping in the hermitage will be a special treat; if only Sita was by my side… O Sita, how beauteous she is! Anyways, it is time for sleeping.

*next morning*

I had the strangest sense of déjà vu this morning. I met a woman named Shabari, who keeps a deserted hermitage. I feel as if I’ve met her before, and yet I don’t know where. Perhaps a restful evening will clear my head.

*next morning*

I have the feeling that I am currently being tested by the gods above. I can only imagine what sin or indulgence I must have engaged in to deserve this trial! Alas, I shall rise to the challenge! Somewhere in my stockpile of magical weapons I should have something to help me out. After all, I’ve basically only gotten through all of these trials because I was using holy weapons! Now, let’s see what we’ve got here…

Ah! A magical key! I remember when, long ago, the gods foretold that I would have to use this magic key to escape from an endless time loop.

*waves key around in the air*

*time loop ends*

*Rama just continues on*

Brahma back. That wasn’t nearly as fun as I wanted it to be. Seriously, where does he get all of this magic stuff from? Who planned his life out? He might not be able to return to his kingdom for a bit, but otherwise, he has just about every possible heavenly boon he could want. I need to make sure his life is just a bit harder, because I really can’t handle all of this self-righteousness and moral superiority. Bleh.



Source: PDE Ramayana- Shabari

Author's Note- The original source for this story is the 40th story in the PDE of the Ramayana, discussing Rama's visit with Shabari. The hermitage that Shabari keeps in the woods is stuck in a time loop, and I thought it'd be fun to see what happens if the time loop ran amok or, more specifically, if Brahma expanded the time loop. I also decided to use it to express how frustrated I get with Rama for always finding the perfect solution at the last second. He has very few feats that he undertakes by himself... everything seems to be done with the help of some kind of magic weapon that is given to him by someone else. I think this concept is also replicated in a lot of stories, both epic and not. For example, Harry Potter almost always seems to succeed over Voldemort due to the sacrifice of someone else (Diggory, his parents, Sirius, etc). Elizabeth Bennett relied on Mr. Darcy to swoop in and save the day. Those stories were all slightly romantic at least... this one certainly was not, especially considering how Rama treated Sita near the end.

I also really enjoyed the concept of putting Brahma at the center of the story because he isn't a character that you hear from very often. In this story, even his omniscience is not enough to overcome the main problem of the story, which is that Rama gets whatever he wants through the use of celestial weapons. In this story, an interesting addition might be to question who is granting the celestial weapons their power if Brahma is not consenting to it. How does a god grant a celestial weapon? Is there a limit? Is the power of the weapon tied innately to the god, and if so, will a weapon granted by a powerful god overcome a weapon granted by a lesser one? All of these would be super interesting to explore.

Finally, I added Time Warp from Rocky Horror for two reasons: Rocky Horror is one of the queerest things imaginable (far more to do with the author than with the story) and the lyrics fit perfectly with the story.

Story: Nursery Rhyme? More Like Gender Role Story Time

"What are little boys made of?

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails

And puppy-dogs' tails

That's what little boys are made of

What are little girls made of?

What are little girls made of?

Sugar and spice

And everything nice (or all things nice)

That's what little girls are made of"

-The Nursery Rhyme Book by Andrew Lang

This specific nursery rhyme caught my eye as I was paging through different options because of how it entrenches gender into something as basic and formulative as a nursery rhyme. These rhymes are often children's first introduction to complex structures within the English language, and a heavily gendered construction of language, especially so early on, only serves to permit and promote the permeation of gender roles in society. The picture below is actually a map of Europe that shows what countries have gendered grammatical constructs (light blue- non-gendered language/red- gendered languge). For more information, check out the Wikipedia article here. As such, I rewrote the poem in order to make readers a little more aware of the underlying assumptions in the original rhyme. Its also my first attempt at a "slam" poem, which was fun to experiment with! 

Map created by Wikipedia user Arhadro

Source: Wikipedia

What are little boys made of, made of, what are little boys made of?

Cells and hormones and hands and feet; that’s what little boys are made of.

But unfortunately, we expect them to be

Made of chivalry and machismo and emotions we can’t see

Out of the womb, they are allowed to cry

But as time goes on, their eyes learn to lie

In our society, a man who refuses to feel

Is held up as the picturesque ideal

A ruthless machine of primordial instinct

Power and status is what makes them distinct

So little boys might be made of biological parts,

Stomachs and eyes and ears and hearts

But we fill their brains and it takes a toll

On our collective health and collective soul

Because when we tell someone who they are,

We’ve crossed a line, we’ve gone too far.

And maybe one day, we wont ex-

Pect a boy to be defined by a characteristic sex

Maybe he was born a she or a they,

But it isn’t for us to have a say.

Little boys are made of whatever they want to be made of.

But what are little girls made of, made of, what are little girls made of?

Sugar, and spice, and everything nice; that’s what we think they’re made of

We act as though a Barbie figure is the default,

And anyone who doesn’t have her frame is at fault

For not being pretty or beautiful or demure

And I doubt that this poem is going to be the cure

To our convoluted way of evaluating 

Assessing a body and assigning a rating,

Telling her to leave science to the boys,

And to play with her pretty pink toys,

And much like boys, not all girls are born women,

Some are supposed to be tough and mean and masculine,

But like I said before, and I’d say every day,

It isn’t up to us to have a say.

Bibliography:

"What are Little Boys made of?" from The Nursery Rhyme Book by Andrew Lang